Day 39 - Part 2 - A typical conversation between me and Dennis.

I love you - I love you too
Random subject one of us brings up.
I missed you - I missed you too.
I love you - I love you back.
Another random subject one of us brought up.
I want to call you - It's too expensive :(
I love you - I love you too
*hugs* - *hug back*
:* - :*
Love you - Love you too
I want to go to you - You can't afford it/No time/I know :(
Random topic again
I need to go, but I don't want to - *sad smiley*/NO!/Enjoy dinner/Good night
I love you - I love you too

And it always goes sort of the same. But I don't mind. And we SHOULD call. Or just you talking and I speak messages for you again, my dear Dennis <3

Day 39 - Part 1 - Too tired to get moving.

I'm having problems. I mean, like, SERIOUS problems. I lost 2.5 kilos. After gaining 1.5. so now I'm only 43 kilos. Which is worrying, since six months ago, I was 47... And I tried my hardest to eat everything within reach.

Oh, and Dennis... Right back at you <3 ^^

chaya...
I think that you know that I would do anything for you

Day 38 - Part 1 - The sweetest thing ever.

I just got your letter, and things couldn't get any better. I know I have so much to do, but I just don't care at all. I love you forever and ever <3
I think I read it about 5 times in the first 3 mintues, and then you came online ^^
I hope you understand I can't bear eating those chocolates, it's way too sweet of you :*
Oh, and you seriousely just made me go all soft and gooey inside. I love your voice so much, and I hate my computer for not letting my mic work. Though I'm glad we found that site, so now we can just talk without any costs ;)
Even though I just spend the last half hour to get the mic work, and it still doesn't. I should go do something useful. but who cares, I just want to talk to you. I am afraid that for today we just need to call then. And I think I'm less nervous now. Because you talked to a computerscreen all by yourself while I was still working on my technical problem. Anyways, things can't get more akward then the first time, can they? I miss you, my dear Dennis.
And I love you even more.

Day 37 - Part 1 - Focussing on nothing.

I knew yesterday was a good day... But it keeps getting better. Online since yesterday:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ux2k07ToaRA


And I just love that song ^^
Anyways, my mind was all blanked out on Dennis today. I really don't have a clue how Emi can still be focussed in school with her boyfriend sitting next to her in all possible lessons. I already can't focus when my boyfriend is a few 100 km away D:
Emi walked up to me this morning, and I was sitting in front of the classroom, against a wall, waiting for the teacher to upen up the door and let the boring schoolday begin, and she pulled me up and gave me the biggest, most awesome hug I think I've ever gotten from her, and whispered "I'm so happy for you" in my ear. And all I could do was hug back and have a smile that's so big I thought it wouldn't fit on my face. So then we were having this HUGE - really, I'm serious, no kidding - conversation in three words, and her boyfriend and the other people around the table were looking at us like "Are you still sane or shall I help you find your lost mind?" And we were just sitting there, smiling, talking in half words, and perfectly understanding everything the other said. Or thought, that is, because we didn't really say that much.
So I was all dreamy and gone today, had a screaming friend for telling her I've got a boyfriend (and THANKS, not the entire school needs to know, darling). Good thing I didn't tell her his name right away, because then I wouldn't have been able to stop her from telling things. She's not so much of a secret teller, but sometimes she just overreacts in a happy hyper way. It is cute to see, though ^^
And Diana was all happy for me and we were writing notes in French class and both having huge smiles on our faces and talking in half sentences no one understands and we got all these weird looks and even though she isn't so much of a weird-random-dancing-party-time freak like me, neither of us cared.
And, as promised, I spammed Dennis with teksts. I hope you don't mind, darling ^^
And IF you do, too bad, I won't give up spamming people that easily. Especially not if they're as perfect as you ;)
And now Jimmy's making me crazy all the way. She's going on about how cute we are together (I must admit, I like the sound of "we" and "together") and going caps mode all the time. I miss him so much as it is already, you crazy girl. Thursdays suck. They take too long :(
So I'm still afraid to tell my parents. I want to yell his name atthe top of my lungs, and talking to my mum, who'll be giving me unnessecary and unasked advise, I want my dad's stupid jokes, I want my sister's mysterious expressions and her constant reminding me of her having a boyfriend for way longer than me and how cute she will look at my wedding. But I can't, for fear of losing the one I love the most in this world.
But he just came online right now, so I'll be off talking to my perfect stranger <3
IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou loads and loads and loads. Just so you know, my dear Dennis <3


"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be." - Douglas Adams


"It's kind of fun to do the impossible." - Walt Disney

Day 36 - Part 2 - Nerves building up already.

So. Dennis and I are gonna call tonight. What do I say? What will we talk about? Will it be akward? It probably will. Who cares anyways. He's my boyfriend. MINEEEEE.

Oh, and just because this one's stuck in my head, not because I really feel that way:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePGMv1PrBYg&feature=autoplay&list=PLDBC5EC78441B232E&lf=mh_lolz&playnext=1

Day 36 - Part 1 - IT'S OFFICIAL

I'm almost jumping out of my chair in here. I decided it's no use saying no since I love him so much. So I said yes. And now I'm officially taken. And happier than ever. Gah. Floating on a cloud of love. A pink one, yes, my darling. Though having your phone number is VERY bad for my money... But who cares?
I'm someone's girlfriend.
Oh, wait. Scrap that, please.
I'm the girlfriend of the most beautiful, amazing, sweet, caring, loving, crazy and awesome boy in the entire world.

And no one's gonna change that.

Day 34 - Part 1 - Celebrations.

Saint Nicklas day. STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Well, the poem is almost finished, I got a present, and I'm warming up from being outside. Let the party begin ^^

Day 33 - Part 4 - Dear Jimmy.

You know I'm joking, right? I could never win an awesomeness cometition from you. Cuteness, on the other side... You're gonna lose BIG TIME. >:D

Day 33 - Part 3 - Shaking up iTunes.

So, I'm just adding four R.E.M. cd's to my iTunes, after all Bruce Springsteen I could find and some U2. I'm robbing my parents' music collection. Temporary, that is. They'll get the cd's back. But I keep the songs too ^^

Day 33 - Part 2 - She's Falling.

http://www.pacerteensagainstbullying.org/#/act/speaking-out/hayley-reardon/shes-falling-audio.html

Day 33 - Part 1 - Shower Attack.

How I love waking late and then standing in the shower for an hour... ^^
So, I'm still floating on a pink puff cloud of love and happiness, and nothing seems to be able to bring me down. I love that. I love him ^^
Yesterday, I spend ALL day (from 1 o'clock in the afternoon until 12 o'clock in the night) making a LEGO paperdoll. Abnormal. The guy who makes this stuff is AMAZING. Though we all think he has no girlfriends, seeing the time it takes to make this stuff, let alone design it... D: (http://members.home.nl/saarloos/index.htm)
Anyways, I've been putting off writing a poem for secret santa all day, so I might want to get started. Wish me luck D:

Day 31 - Part 4 - Free Rice.

And since I'm being all goodie-two-shoes and helping-people-mood today anyway, check out this site as well. ^^

http://freerice.com/

Day 31 - Part 3 - Preparing to cry.

Yes. I decided to tell my story, to wtire everything down and be over with it for once and for all. I'm gonna let it be posted on this site, http://www.pacerteensagainstbullying.org/, and, I hope I'll be able to help others with the same problem as me. Oh, and you guys should all sign the petition (http://www.pacerteensagainstbullying.org/#/sign-the-petition).

Day 31 - Part 2 - Bad Habits.

Just to get it out there and clear and all, I don't really have THAT many bad habits. I am addicted to smileys, though. One in particular. You guess. ^^
Oh, and i have a new 'favourite word'. "Coolbeans". -.-'
It does sound cute, though. Right?

Day 31 - Part 1 - Floating in a state of love-drunk and an extacy of hapiness.

So, now I've finally admitted to myself that I like him, it went drasticly wrong. Or maybe right, if you look at it from the other side. I think that this day, I had... Well, MAYBE half an hour not thinking of him? Or is that too much already? I guess I'm just addicted to love. Quite too much, maybe.
Anyhow, I skipped the first few classes today by going to the doctor. Well, as it turns out, the blow on my head was just a hard blow, but nothing too serious. My feet, however, are getting worse. I'm probably allergic to my meds, so I'm off them now (which DOES make me very happy, swallowing two pills extra EVERY DAY was like hell), and I'm send to the skindoctor for examination, and a better view on the infection (because he/she's a nail-disease expert as well). Though it is weird, because I've got all these red bulbs on my feet, and allergic reactions are supposedto be all over my body. Well, we'll see about that later.
And just when I cycled back from dancing class, listening to Katy Perry's One Of The Boys, dancing with the top part of my body, hands off the bike, I felt like I was floating. Like I was too full and yet so empty. Like... Like I'm in love.
Because I am.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wi1fmFNW9jE&feature=fvst

Day 30 - Part 4 - Hey You.

Day 30 - Part 3 - Terrifying.

First I was afraid of your judgement, now I'm afraid of my own.





But I didn't quite realize I forgot to celebrate a month of blogging until now.

Day 30 - Part 2 - Telling the truth.

You're right Emi, the truth is the best. Though it can hurt. Both sides, I think.

Day 30 - Part 1 - I AM Perfect.

I guess serious issues are getting to me more often all the time. And they seem to hit me so much harder. But maybe that's because I close my eyes to unimportant stuff. I neglect stupid remarks, I lift my shoulders to haters, I ignore anyhing small, really. And somehow, I never seem to be prepared for a real big hit. Real pain. Or that is just because I haven't let myself feel anything at all for the past six years.
I just need to get clear that I don't want my children (when I get them), to EVER grow up like me. I do want them to have proper education. And good friends. And I do want them to learn important lessons in life, even if that means they have to hurt, but if ever I find out one of my future children gets bullied, there will be consequenses. BIG ones. Because I will never let this stuff happen to them. Over my dead body.
Anyways, I think I might have a brainquake. Like a eathquake in my brains. Darn, that girl has some power in her. I've been feeling dizzy, and sort of nauseous and I get this tiny annoying stab in my head when I move my head too fast. It's VERY irritating.
So, I just dropped off my little sister at her gymnastics class. It's raining like hell outside, and I'm soaked to the bone, but I don't care at all. I like it, really. The rains washes away the bittersweet taste of unshed tears on my face.


And to you all out there feeling bad, low, or brought down: Stay strong. You can get out alive.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocDlOD1Hw9k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKsxPW6i3pM