Day 222 - Part 1 - I don't even know how to feel anymore.

I mean, haven't we been over this a million times before? It's not like I haven't been lying awake for nights at end wondering about the exact some thing, trying to figure it out. Just don't keep me holding on to a dead end, okay? Because that would pretty much just suck.
Yeah, I had a pretty crappy day. And then again, it was a nice day too. Confused feelings all over, ugh. Sofie was staying over for the night, AMAZING SLEEPOVER, rawr. We went to see Snowwhite and the Huntsman, and seriousely thought about breaking into the cinema and putting it on instant replay all night long. We would've known it by heart in the morning, hehe. It's a really, REALLY awesome movie. You should all go see it.
And then after helping her getting into the right train, I went to go help Pauline with her homework. We didn't really do that much homework, though I made a list of "How to learn" for her, and we talked. About heavy stuff. About my being bullied and bursting into tears at school because it's just so hard and idk, sometimes it seems impossible to do anything right.
I mean, I KNOW i should be making my homework right now, learning for German and such, because I'll just do something to myself if I fail German, and this school year, and not get into the pre-programme of the art academy I want to go to when I finish school, but I just can't get myself to push things aside and concentrate. I just have too much on my plate right now, none of which I can put in my box of things I worry about but don't concern me, none of which will be any easier when solved. I'm getting stuck on my list of tasks because there's too much to do to even think about them, Lin won't talk to me anymore, it almost feels like I'm slipping back into a depression though I'm sure I just won't. I won't let myself. But I'm afraid I'm losing ways of stopping it from happening.