My mom was watching one of the last 2 Oprah show, and there was this piece about a woman getting an accident which killed her mother and best friend, and she forgave the driver killing them. and I was all like, why would she forgive the guy? He killed the two people closest to her. So my mom told me forgiveness is a present to yourself. If you can't forgive, not only will the hatred always be on the forefront of your mind, but you will also never be able to move on. Then I decided to try. And it works, admitting my forgiveness. But just to be clear, and to be over with it for once and for all:
I forgive you. For screwing up my life. For making me sick, scared of school, too hyper or too calm, for hating me and pretending to like me, for making me want to die, for making me feel worthless the past six years. I forgive you for bullying me, for turning all my classmates against me, for making me so angry I slam my lunchbox so hard on someone's head it breaks, for the lonely moments, the tears, the pain, all the insecurities. You make me tough. Too tough. But you did learn me to be careful with my trust. To not give up on my goals. You learned to kill emotions, and I learned myself to be open again and lat the tears out. You make me hard to love, and even harder to let go of once in my trust. You taught me to look angry, and to shut out others opinions. To seem oblivious to mean remarks, at keep a smile when I want to crawl into a corner and die. I forgive you for hurting me, for shaping me this way, for making me see the bad sides of things. You made me unique. You made me strong. You made me care. And in the end, you are the one who helped me the most, you made me exactly the person I am now. I will never forget what you did, but it's over now. I'm letting go of the hate, and let my mind fill itself with love. I forgive you.
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