Day 5 - Part 1 - Hell and my tears. Three hours to sundown.

Yes. The counting has begun.
So, I'm all crap and sad and touchy today. Not only did I have some hughnormous lack of sleep (I went to bed at 4.45 am, reading and talking to my friend), but a more important scene is on the way. The saying of goodbyes. I'll tell you all about it.
The sky fits my mood today. All covered up in a big grey nothingness, yet rain is unable to fall.
My brother is going. He's being kicked out. Gone. Left all to himself, no job, just him and his stuff. Nothing is arranged. The shrink said that was the best. I hope he found some place to go, though I'm afraid not so. I'm scared to death of what might happen to him. My mom said this would be a good thing, that he had to fall hard to get back up again, but I'm just so scared of the fall. I mean, it IS his live, but he's my brother. And even though he usually is so freaking annoying, I love him with all my heart. If I could have just one wish, I'd wish that he didn't have to move out. Or just that everything will turn out fine, and he will have a good future.
Some time ago, just about a year I think, I made myself a promise. I promised myself to take care of him, no matter what. That I'd send him money if he need it, that I'll give him a home if he ever has none. But I don't know how to if I don't know where to find him.
I'd better start writing him a letter. I brought him a present, two bag of candy, a notepad and two pens. I added an envelope with some personal stuff, and a small couple of bottles, filled with shampoo and bodylotion, taken from a hotel somewhere. I just fervently hope He'll be allright.
And I gave him a piece of the moon.