Day 192 - Part 2 - Paperweight.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYiG5tpCOF4
Listen to that while reading. And if you're out of music before you're out of text, play the song again. And again. And again, if you need to.
So today was one hell of an emotional rollercoaster. Waking up was hell, then waking Lin was fun and we had a great time and then going back home in the train I was just really sad. After that, I was pretending to be happy with my parents, and we went off to remember the dead. It's an annual thing here in the Netherlands, we remember those who died so we can live in freedom now. So that was just pressing on me a little, because that started after WW2 and being Jewish, I really try to figure out all I can about WW2, to know how my parents and their parents became who they are now. And to discover a part of myself, too.
Then I went home and watched the last part of "Dear John", which I started watching with Lin but we didn't have enough time to finish it because I had to catch my train. So I cried over the movie, because it's just so sad and I'm a total emotional dweep when it comes to movies like that, and I can still feel the tears on my face.
And then came the hard conversation with Dennis, which really was difficult for me, and I made him feel bad and I hate me for that, but I just had to let him know how I felt and stuff and luckily we're good now. We should pick a date for me to come over or something.
Now that I'm sitting here typing everything out, I can feel the tears forming in my eyes and I know they'll start rolling down my cheeks any moment, but that's a good thing. Because as long as I dare to cry, everything will be fine.