Day 59 - Part 1 - Sick and Tired.

I'm SO sick and tired of too many things. Not getting the sleep I need, for one. it is partially my own fault, yes, but my dad does NOT have to wake me at 11 in the holidays. Or the weekend, for that matter. Today was a one in a million, sleeping in until 1 in the atfernoon. But that was only because my sister woke me for breakfast. I could've slept forever.
And then, thingd kinda got worse during the day. I had breakfast, my mom kept me downstairs by telling me all sorts of stuff I'm NOT interested in (a habit of hers I get very annoyed by), I took a shower. Then I was supposed to call Dennis, but I was nervous like crazy, so I teskted him that, and decided to call him anyways. But he didn't pick up. And we so much agreed I would call. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. I miss him too much, I think.
My sister wanted me to take her to the science centre close to our house, which I am bored like hell by, but i the end she couldn't find her pass to get in frewe and we didn't go. There went an hour of searching for nothing, yay.
So, up I went, back to my computer and re-emptied desk. Read a little. Went chatting with some people on gsm and ppg. No Dennis online. And then the internet decided to hate me and went out for the rest of the day, which, by the way, was only two hours to dinner by then, dinner that I had to cook. It was my turn today.
And I finished my book, the True Blood series first one, I love it, but I got the creeps and now I'm kinda afraid of the dark all over again. Still no Dennis.
And then I cooked dinner, had dinner, dad's late once again, my sister doesn't want to eat, my brother preferably never came down. We did have a good time, though.
Now I just had to put my sister to bed, but she wants me to watch home Alone 2 with her, which my mom allowed her to watch, so I'm stuck in my parents room with my sister and a movie I don't really want to see. Internet's back on, but that doesn't really matter. I'll take True Blood 2 with me.
And all this time, no Dennis.

Day 58 - Part 1 - Starting fresh.

Yep, my room is all cleaned up. Finally. But not without a series of yelling mom, some serious talks, more yelling, waking up at nine and working like crazy so my mom won't throw everything out. Yuck.
I can clean, really, I can. I'm just not that good at getting myself to actually work on it. Too freaking bad. You don't have to make me cry for that, mom. Great start of a three week aniversary -.-'
THREE WEEKS! I'm so happily hyper right now. It's over half of a month. Oh my WOW. I love him. Dennis, I love you. Forever ;)
Anita's coming over soon to go shopping, correction, she just came in, so I'll be off. Bye guys ^^

Day 57 - Part 1 - Mixed Feelings.

My life's pretty much perfect right now: I've got an amazing boyfriend, sweet friends, I get good grades in school, I have a lot of people liking me, I'm talented in quite some things, I found a solution for my ADHD and for losing weight, but it just... Doesn't feel good.
I feel like I'm waiting for something. Like I need something to take a first step. Like my life is empty. But I know it isn't. It's not reallt saddening, really not, I'm still very happy, it's just very weid. My life is perfect, but it's like the stories I write: it's going nowhere.

Day 56 - Part 3 - I won't let you make me regret.

I won't let you make me reget
The mistakes I made
The things I did wrong
Because I learned from them.

I won't let you make me forget
The good memories
Or the bad times
Because I know them.

I won't let you make me try
To feel bad, broken
Lost in pain
Because I've been there before.

I won't let you lift me up
To drop me down
Or leave me floating

Because no matter how hard I try
I will never see the sky

Unbroken


*this just popped into my head*

Day 56 - Part 2 - Never even mind it.

Yeah, sure mom. It's fun, screwing up my computer and then yelling at me like it's all my fault, isn't it? Isn't it just the ultimate fun screaming at me for an answer, then smacking the door of my room as you leave, me being left biting my lip until it almost bleeds just not to tear up in front of you? Oh, so much fun screwing my presents by tapping on it and doing something weird so my computer looks totally sucking and I can't repair it.
I love her then I hate her... Can't she ever be normal?
Tears are clouding my vision and wetting mt shirt, but who gives a damn?
I can tell you who doesn't for sure.

Day 56 - Part 1 - GOSH, I love this thing.

Oh yes, I do.
I disconnected my mouse now, I'm using my tablet only, and I LOVE it.
And I love my cd. It's A-MA-ZING. I guess I'm addicted ;)
So, this tablet came with this awesome trial tutorial programme thing, and I'm addicted to the games ;)
AND I want Dennis to come back online. I miss you. No matter how long we talk, how many hours, days, it never seems to be enough. Somehow, whenever one of us has to leave, it feels like we've only be talking for minutes. I hate it. Grmbl.
JIMMY, get online NOW. I need someone to brag to ^^

Day 55 - Part 1 - Luzzie Loves Christmas.

I LOVE CHRISTMAS.
From now on. Got amazing presents. For one, my parents got me a Bamboo tablet. I mean, one of those 200 euro things :O
I HAVE been nagging about it forever, but I never ever thought they'd actually get me one <3
Other presents: A My Chemical romance cd (LOVEITLOVEITLOVEIT), two store boxes, new slippers, a weird funny game and fabric paint plus figures. My brother got a new guitar, my sister a 3DS, my dad a new coffee machine, and my mom stacks and stacks of books. And some other things, but these were the best ones.
I'm gonna instal my new tablet RIGHT NOW, so merry Christmas to you all, and have fun today <3

Day 54 - Part 3 - Lets listen to these smart people.

OK, Dennis?

Day 54 - Part 2 - afghrkjgfd

Now that my nternet is being all happy again, my youtube is failing. Just when I get all these links, which contain my new favoutire songs :(

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFEDTtKaFzU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHraqDekXg0&feature=related

Day 54 - Part 1 - Speechless.

Day 53 - Part 2 - Storm in my room.

I wish my dad would fix my window. It's cold in here, gaps by my window, wind blowing in. I've got all these scarfs and shawls gathered in my windowframe to keep out the worst, which kinda sucks, because my room isn't getting any prettier. And now I'm sitting here surrounded by cold air and wind and creepy noises and I've got my toed pressed against the heater and I'm pretending to be deaf and NOT cold... Which, to be honest, is actually working out pretty good.
But my dad's sending me off too bed, and my eyes are drooping, and even Dennis is telling me to go, and I DON'T want to.
Gonna go anyway, I think.

Good night everybody.

Day 53 - Part 1 - Making Wishes

http://www.esprit.com/
I did that some time ago, I wonder if anyone's able to find me ;)
Anyways, this morning was Christmas breakfast at school, which was nice, though all I ate was unhealthy (apart from this one mandarine which doesn't make up for anything AT ALL), and then when my class was wrapping things up, Anita dragged me along to her class, where I spend another hour of two doing weird games and having fun.
Then I drove home with Alice, and decided to go over to her place, cycling through some cold wetness that wasn't realy fog and wasn't really rain and wasn't really drizzle. It was weird.
I REALLY like her family. It's crazy and weird and random and her sister and brother are, like, WILD, and her father's funny and her mom kinda keeps everyone together, but she has fun too. It's a funcional family, with just about the same craziness level as me.
AND, it's cold enough outside to blow clouds of breath. Which I was worried about, since it wasn't for a long time and I'm usually freezing, no metter where I am.
Dinner now ^^

Day 51 - Part 2 - Regrets.

Never had them, never will.
Well, that's not true, but I'll never regret sending my letter to Dennis <3

Day 51 - Part 1 - Party Time

Lots and lots of them ^^
For one, today's Diana's birthday, she's 17 now, so congrats to her.
Second, I'm having my period. Which isn't that much iof a party at all, it hurts and it's VERY annoying, but after loosing so much weight, I'm very gald my body still works normally.
Third, I gained another half a kilo, so I'm happy about that.
And forth, SCHOOL'S OVER! I had my last day of lessons today, and I won't have anymore classes for the rest of 2011 (which, I know, lasts about two more weeks, but it's awesome anyway).
Also, we have to write an essay on "The Book Thief" by Markus Zusak (consider reading it, REALLY), and I let Barbara read my introduction, and she thought it was good, so I let my teacher read it too, and he thought it was so good that he make this other girl read it. And she tought is was good as well, so she read the other one and a half paragraph I've written, just to get an idea of what an essay should look like. And my former essays (in the last threee years) sucked big time, so I'm very proud of myself.
And lastly, I finished my letter to Dennis. I'm just about to leave to post it, and it's awesome. Oh, and Dennis, there's a little surprise. I bet it's not as expensive as those super cute chocolates (which I still think of as a waste to eat), but it's cool anyways ^^
So now I'm off to post the letter and get peanutbutter and nutella for tomorrow's Christmas breakfast at school.
Cooking tonight! :D

Day 50 - Part 2 - Screwed up fun.

I like celebrating Hannukah... Until my mom sends me off to put my little sister to bed and she doesn't want to so we start this fake fight and have a lot of fun until a door accidentally slams into her face and my mom comes up yelling at me all over while it wasn't my fault that we were being wild in the first place.
Anyways, I'd better be going off to bed now, before my parents start to kill me for real. I love you all ^^

Day 50 - Part 1 - Back online.

My internet has been failing for almost 3 days, but my dad fixed it now ^^
So, life's been kinda boring in here. I've got no homework because of the Christmas break coming up, my room needs a cleaning, which I'm working on, but it's not keeping my mind real busy, the internet was out, I've got no money, I'm out of books and I don't have inspiration to draw or design. In short, my life kinda sucks big time right now.
Also, Dennis isn't online, and i miss him like crazy, so I guess I'm going off to ppg now to nag and break people's heads about him ;)

Day 47 - Part 2 - I love my phone.

Well, actually I like the person on the other side of it. I seriousely got the sweetest message ever. Of course, i've seen it passing by in varying forms quite often, but never from my love, Gah, I love Dennis so much. I wish I could make time pass fast, and then let it stand still forever.
But well, those kind of big wishes don't really come true.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAPtTS0TYtU&feature=fvst

Day 47 - Part 1 - Too tired.

Oh, fine, Dennis is right, my body DOES need sleep. I went to bed around 00.30, and I woke up at 12, but I'm just so tired. Too tired to do anything. With that, having to make a history file and learning German doesn't really keep me awake either. Better to say, I'm slumping my my chair and trying my best to keep my eyes open. But I think my friend's here, so I'll be off now. Enjoy this picture in the mean time ;)

Day 46 - Part 7 - Tell me all about it.

Day 46 - Part 6 - Movies.

I just watched Disney's Up (loveitloveitloveit) and the biggest part of Underworld (3 I think, it was about that Victor guy killing his daughter), and after that, all I could think was: Luckily I've got a father who'll let me live, even if I break all his rules and get hooked up with some crazy loving German guy, because, erm, I did.

Day 46 - Part 5 - World-famous

Just to give you an idea of who is reading (or, actually, to give myself an idea, though I can see the stats), this is most of the countries that have been viewing my blog (at least one person just once). I think that's just pretty amazing ^^

The Netherlands
Germany
France
Morocco
Brazil
Czech Republic
Sweden
Finland
The USA
Canada
England
Russia
Estonia
Poland
Denmark
Norway
Malta

Day 46 - Part 4 - My nails are getting too long.

Wow. I never though I'd ever say that. I've been biting my nails for years and years, and then three months ago, I suddenly stopped. So now I've got huge nails, because I don't want to cut them because I'm so proud of the length. The only problem is, I can't really tekst anymore and just now I've broken of a chunk of my cookie, and I hurted myself because my nail pinched me :O
Oh, and I'm eating my entire chocolate savings, so that's bad... Though I don't mind gaining some weight ;)

Day 46 - Part 3 - Making new friends.

So, on ppg, where I "met" Dennis, I think just about everyone knows about us. I'm on chat right now, and I keep getting messages from people that they're happy for us, talking about all kinds of things I can't remember telling them. So either Dennis told them, or people are actually reading this. It's quite awesome, though, finally being able to alk about it with people, without having to make sure no one's listening. I guess I love ppg ^^

Day 46 - Part 2 - Loving Live.

Live is the name of a band, yes. I have to explain that all the time. But they're AMAZING. I mean, listen. *blown away*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpCa7Ay596M&ob=av2n

Oh, and it's freezing in here, my teeth are shattering all the time. My dad needs to fix my windows pronto. It almost feels like I'm outside :(

Day 46 - Part 1 - Writing a Bestseller.

I call it "Breaking Boundaries"...
Just because that could be a suitable title for any kind of book ;)

I went off to search someone who’d believe me. To find the one who could see the possibilities. I decided that my life was not only too boring, but also too empty to live. Every now and then, I’d have great days – hanging around with my friends, having a party, doing something big. I’d stay up all night, fall asleep in an unknown house, after being with an unknown woman. I’d be drunk, hooked up, hung over and worn out. I’d have forgotten all about my perfect day, my wonderful night, and all I’d be remembering is how the hell I’d be getting home, without money or a car. All that’s ever left is the bittersweet aftertaste of knowing you did something memorable, but forgetting what exactly you did.
I had bad days too. Actually, most of my days were terrible, sitting behind a weathered desk inside a grey office, day in, day out, sorting papers without noticing what they were about, making calls with annoyed people, trying my best not to fall asleep and be in time. I had an angry boss, bored colleagues, long hours and too much spare time, which I spend behind my computer, playing virtual card games and listening to the bad music that my neighbouring colleague send me by e-mail. I used to have a book or two scattered around the place, but since I’m not much of a reader, I took them back home again to leave them slouching in one of my empty shelves.
My house, too, was nothing spectacular. I had a tiny apartment, on the ninth floor of a building without elevators, consisting of an open kitchen, a joined bedroom and bathroom, and a two-part living room. The floor was wooden, the walls were white, and the roof leaked. In the living room I had an old, grey sofa, an old-fashioned TV on an empty wooden box, two half-empty open cupboards with a couple of unread books, a few candles, two or three CD’s, a radio, a small toolkit and some empty bottles of wine, a wooden table with a broken computer on it, a lamp, some windows and two chairs. The kitchen was even emptier, with only the basics for cooking and three plates. My fridge was filled up with beer, a carton of milk, some meet and a salad. Rice was installed on the kitchen unit, there were some food rests on the floor, the trash bin was loaded and a dirty pan was placed in the sink. The bedroom had a single bed, a tiny wardrobe, a bedside table, two lamps and a hole where once a door was placed to enter the bathroom. The bathroom had a shower with broken tiles and some green stuff on the walls, a sink, a mirror on a cupboard and the smallest window I’ve ever seen. Everything I needed to survive.
I had no girlfriend, no siblings, no pets and no goal. My parents were sweet and caring, but old and imprisoned in a house for the elderly, locked up in a room with bright pink walls, a green carpet and lots of old people in wheelchairs. I used to visit them once a week, but by that time it had faded to once every two months. In the weekends, I spend all day in the “park”, a big garden with a small pond, a few trees and some benches, surrounded by flats and other big, ugly buildings. I sat there whole days, feeling the sun on my skin or watch people walk by. I ran a few laps to keep up my health, and then walked back home. And when it rained, I sat at home, on the sofa, watching TV, ordering pizza and going to bed early.
I kept telling myself that I needed a hobby. But after working from 8 to 10, I was too tired to think of anything. And the weekends were too lazy to even imagine thinking of a hobby. Even my holidays, spend on the campsite just outside town, were no inspiration for me to ever make something of my life. And all the while I was just repeating the same pattern, earning more money than I ever needed, spending lonely days at home, falling asleep late, getting up late, boring weeks and lazy weekends. It was the kind of life even the most uninteresting person on the Earth would think of as boring. And when even my best friend told me I wasn’t getting any better this way, I decided this was it. I reached my bottom, the end of the fall. That one day, calling my best friend to ask him about his life, I turned my world around. I made the best decision of my life.

Day 44 - Part 1 - Pull yourself together.

So my mom and I just had this long conversations about me not doing anything, and I must say, it's true, and now we decided to do something about it together, after me bursting into tears and being unable to speak a word. Now I have to go shut my computer down, because that'd be the first step. I probably won't, just feeping open Facebook and iTunes, though my mom might get real mad at me for that. But for now, I'm off designing.

Oh, and I decided to write a bestseller, just because I want to. It's looking great for now, one page introduction already and way to go. I have absolutely no idea WHAT it is I'm writing about, though. Usually I come up with an idea, then work it out and strand somewhere, but this time I just started on it blank. I just typed, and I have no idea at all what the story will be about. It feels awesome, making things up as I go, but not knowing what comes next. I might even finish it, for a first. And I might put up some parts on here if I feel like it. But until then, you guys just have to wait until it's in stores, for I am writing a bestseller. ;)

Day 43 - Part 1 - Slow internet and a lazy day.

Now that my internet is sort of fixed, I'm all ready and set to go typing again, though it's still VERY slow.
So, today was a really lazy day for me. I usually start around 9 in the morning on Wednesdays, but today the first two classes were cancelled, so I got to until 9.30, because I only had to be in school at 11 *miniparty*. Of course, as always happen to me, I was on the verge of being late. But, I did have a great time this morning playing dress-up with myself, meaning me deciding to go for a festival look (T-shirt, little make-up, loads of braceletts, a ponytail, extra necklases) in the middle of the winter. Which actually turned out to be pretty awesome ^^
I also had to go the the hospital today, to the surgeon, where I waited for, like, an hour to be looked at for not even 5 minutes. Anyways, I need to get yet ANOTHER surgeory. The fifth one. -.-'
Which, as it might seem, is really not so bad at all, because it's very tiny, and I only have to walk with sticks for about a week (allow me to explain, my toe has been inflamed off and on for the last two years, because my toenail kept growing into my flesh). The only shitass thing is, that I need to get two needle pricks first. Not that I'm any kind of afraid of needles and stuff, I mean, I keep punching holes in my fingers when I sew stuff, and I hardly even feel it anymore, the only reason I check on my fingers is to make sure therewon't be any blood on the fabric, because it's near to impossible to get blood out, but these needles are HELL. They have to go straight into my bone, to make sure I don't get all soft and week all over my body, which already hurts more than just a normal needle in your arm, but it's also in my foot, the place that is the most sensitice to that kind of stuff (though you might not think so).
So, I've got a perfect day off hell coming up, three days after 2012 has started. *hateshateshates*
And right now my internet seems to be failing me again, so I'll just cut off right here and try again tomorrow.
I love you guys ^^

Day 42 - Part 1 - Failing internet.

So, my internet is REALLY slow, and has been gone for two days, which explaines my not-writing. I'm sorry guys :(
I kinda got to go now, fashionclass in a few. I'll write more tomorrow, promise.

Oh, and Dennis, I think we rule at temporarily solutions ^^

Day 39 - Part 3 - So true.

Day 39 - Part 2 - A typical conversation between me and Dennis.

I love you - I love you too
Random subject one of us brings up.
I missed you - I missed you too.
I love you - I love you back.
Another random subject one of us brought up.
I want to call you - It's too expensive :(
I love you - I love you too
*hugs* - *hug back*
:* - :*
Love you - Love you too
I want to go to you - You can't afford it/No time/I know :(
Random topic again
I need to go, but I don't want to - *sad smiley*/NO!/Enjoy dinner/Good night
I love you - I love you too

And it always goes sort of the same. But I don't mind. And we SHOULD call. Or just you talking and I speak messages for you again, my dear Dennis <3

Day 39 - Part 1 - Too tired to get moving.

I'm having problems. I mean, like, SERIOUS problems. I lost 2.5 kilos. After gaining 1.5. so now I'm only 43 kilos. Which is worrying, since six months ago, I was 47... And I tried my hardest to eat everything within reach.

Oh, and Dennis... Right back at you <3 ^^

chaya...
I think that you know that I would do anything for you

Day 38 - Part 1 - The sweetest thing ever.

I just got your letter, and things couldn't get any better. I know I have so much to do, but I just don't care at all. I love you forever and ever <3
I think I read it about 5 times in the first 3 mintues, and then you came online ^^
I hope you understand I can't bear eating those chocolates, it's way too sweet of you :*
Oh, and you seriousely just made me go all soft and gooey inside. I love your voice so much, and I hate my computer for not letting my mic work. Though I'm glad we found that site, so now we can just talk without any costs ;)
Even though I just spend the last half hour to get the mic work, and it still doesn't. I should go do something useful. but who cares, I just want to talk to you. I am afraid that for today we just need to call then. And I think I'm less nervous now. Because you talked to a computerscreen all by yourself while I was still working on my technical problem. Anyways, things can't get more akward then the first time, can they? I miss you, my dear Dennis.
And I love you even more.

Day 37 - Part 1 - Focussing on nothing.

I knew yesterday was a good day... But it keeps getting better. Online since yesterday:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ux2k07ToaRA


And I just love that song ^^
Anyways, my mind was all blanked out on Dennis today. I really don't have a clue how Emi can still be focussed in school with her boyfriend sitting next to her in all possible lessons. I already can't focus when my boyfriend is a few 100 km away D:
Emi walked up to me this morning, and I was sitting in front of the classroom, against a wall, waiting for the teacher to upen up the door and let the boring schoolday begin, and she pulled me up and gave me the biggest, most awesome hug I think I've ever gotten from her, and whispered "I'm so happy for you" in my ear. And all I could do was hug back and have a smile that's so big I thought it wouldn't fit on my face. So then we were having this HUGE - really, I'm serious, no kidding - conversation in three words, and her boyfriend and the other people around the table were looking at us like "Are you still sane or shall I help you find your lost mind?" And we were just sitting there, smiling, talking in half words, and perfectly understanding everything the other said. Or thought, that is, because we didn't really say that much.
So I was all dreamy and gone today, had a screaming friend for telling her I've got a boyfriend (and THANKS, not the entire school needs to know, darling). Good thing I didn't tell her his name right away, because then I wouldn't have been able to stop her from telling things. She's not so much of a secret teller, but sometimes she just overreacts in a happy hyper way. It is cute to see, though ^^
And Diana was all happy for me and we were writing notes in French class and both having huge smiles on our faces and talking in half sentences no one understands and we got all these weird looks and even though she isn't so much of a weird-random-dancing-party-time freak like me, neither of us cared.
And, as promised, I spammed Dennis with teksts. I hope you don't mind, darling ^^
And IF you do, too bad, I won't give up spamming people that easily. Especially not if they're as perfect as you ;)
And now Jimmy's making me crazy all the way. She's going on about how cute we are together (I must admit, I like the sound of "we" and "together") and going caps mode all the time. I miss him so much as it is already, you crazy girl. Thursdays suck. They take too long :(
So I'm still afraid to tell my parents. I want to yell his name atthe top of my lungs, and talking to my mum, who'll be giving me unnessecary and unasked advise, I want my dad's stupid jokes, I want my sister's mysterious expressions and her constant reminding me of her having a boyfriend for way longer than me and how cute she will look at my wedding. But I can't, for fear of losing the one I love the most in this world.
But he just came online right now, so I'll be off talking to my perfect stranger <3
IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou loads and loads and loads. Just so you know, my dear Dennis <3


"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be." - Douglas Adams


"It's kind of fun to do the impossible." - Walt Disney

Day 36 - Part 2 - Nerves building up already.

So. Dennis and I are gonna call tonight. What do I say? What will we talk about? Will it be akward? It probably will. Who cares anyways. He's my boyfriend. MINEEEEE.

Oh, and just because this one's stuck in my head, not because I really feel that way:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePGMv1PrBYg&feature=autoplay&list=PLDBC5EC78441B232E&lf=mh_lolz&playnext=1

Day 36 - Part 1 - IT'S OFFICIAL

I'm almost jumping out of my chair in here. I decided it's no use saying no since I love him so much. So I said yes. And now I'm officially taken. And happier than ever. Gah. Floating on a cloud of love. A pink one, yes, my darling. Though having your phone number is VERY bad for my money... But who cares?
I'm someone's girlfriend.
Oh, wait. Scrap that, please.
I'm the girlfriend of the most beautiful, amazing, sweet, caring, loving, crazy and awesome boy in the entire world.

And no one's gonna change that.

Day 34 - Part 1 - Celebrations.

Saint Nicklas day. STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Well, the poem is almost finished, I got a present, and I'm warming up from being outside. Let the party begin ^^

Day 33 - Part 4 - Dear Jimmy.

You know I'm joking, right? I could never win an awesomeness cometition from you. Cuteness, on the other side... You're gonna lose BIG TIME. >:D

Day 33 - Part 3 - Shaking up iTunes.

So, I'm just adding four R.E.M. cd's to my iTunes, after all Bruce Springsteen I could find and some U2. I'm robbing my parents' music collection. Temporary, that is. They'll get the cd's back. But I keep the songs too ^^

Day 33 - Part 2 - She's Falling.

http://www.pacerteensagainstbullying.org/#/act/speaking-out/hayley-reardon/shes-falling-audio.html

Day 33 - Part 1 - Shower Attack.

How I love waking late and then standing in the shower for an hour... ^^
So, I'm still floating on a pink puff cloud of love and happiness, and nothing seems to be able to bring me down. I love that. I love him ^^
Yesterday, I spend ALL day (from 1 o'clock in the afternoon until 12 o'clock in the night) making a LEGO paperdoll. Abnormal. The guy who makes this stuff is AMAZING. Though we all think he has no girlfriends, seeing the time it takes to make this stuff, let alone design it... D: (http://members.home.nl/saarloos/index.htm)
Anyways, I've been putting off writing a poem for secret santa all day, so I might want to get started. Wish me luck D:

Day 31 - Part 4 - Free Rice.

And since I'm being all goodie-two-shoes and helping-people-mood today anyway, check out this site as well. ^^

http://freerice.com/

Day 31 - Part 3 - Preparing to cry.

Yes. I decided to tell my story, to wtire everything down and be over with it for once and for all. I'm gonna let it be posted on this site, http://www.pacerteensagainstbullying.org/, and, I hope I'll be able to help others with the same problem as me. Oh, and you guys should all sign the petition (http://www.pacerteensagainstbullying.org/#/sign-the-petition).

Day 31 - Part 2 - Bad Habits.

Just to get it out there and clear and all, I don't really have THAT many bad habits. I am addicted to smileys, though. One in particular. You guess. ^^
Oh, and i have a new 'favourite word'. "Coolbeans". -.-'
It does sound cute, though. Right?

Day 31 - Part 1 - Floating in a state of love-drunk and an extacy of hapiness.

So, now I've finally admitted to myself that I like him, it went drasticly wrong. Or maybe right, if you look at it from the other side. I think that this day, I had... Well, MAYBE half an hour not thinking of him? Or is that too much already? I guess I'm just addicted to love. Quite too much, maybe.
Anyhow, I skipped the first few classes today by going to the doctor. Well, as it turns out, the blow on my head was just a hard blow, but nothing too serious. My feet, however, are getting worse. I'm probably allergic to my meds, so I'm off them now (which DOES make me very happy, swallowing two pills extra EVERY DAY was like hell), and I'm send to the skindoctor for examination, and a better view on the infection (because he/she's a nail-disease expert as well). Though it is weird, because I've got all these red bulbs on my feet, and allergic reactions are supposedto be all over my body. Well, we'll see about that later.
And just when I cycled back from dancing class, listening to Katy Perry's One Of The Boys, dancing with the top part of my body, hands off the bike, I felt like I was floating. Like I was too full and yet so empty. Like... Like I'm in love.
Because I am.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wi1fmFNW9jE&feature=fvst

Day 30 - Part 4 - Hey You.

Day 30 - Part 3 - Terrifying.

First I was afraid of your judgement, now I'm afraid of my own.





But I didn't quite realize I forgot to celebrate a month of blogging until now.

Day 30 - Part 2 - Telling the truth.

You're right Emi, the truth is the best. Though it can hurt. Both sides, I think.

Day 30 - Part 1 - I AM Perfect.

I guess serious issues are getting to me more often all the time. And they seem to hit me so much harder. But maybe that's because I close my eyes to unimportant stuff. I neglect stupid remarks, I lift my shoulders to haters, I ignore anyhing small, really. And somehow, I never seem to be prepared for a real big hit. Real pain. Or that is just because I haven't let myself feel anything at all for the past six years.
I just need to get clear that I don't want my children (when I get them), to EVER grow up like me. I do want them to have proper education. And good friends. And I do want them to learn important lessons in life, even if that means they have to hurt, but if ever I find out one of my future children gets bullied, there will be consequenses. BIG ones. Because I will never let this stuff happen to them. Over my dead body.
Anyways, I think I might have a brainquake. Like a eathquake in my brains. Darn, that girl has some power in her. I've been feeling dizzy, and sort of nauseous and I get this tiny annoying stab in my head when I move my head too fast. It's VERY irritating.
So, I just dropped off my little sister at her gymnastics class. It's raining like hell outside, and I'm soaked to the bone, but I don't care at all. I like it, really. The rains washes away the bittersweet taste of unshed tears on my face.


And to you all out there feeling bad, low, or brought down: Stay strong. You can get out alive.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocDlOD1Hw9k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKsxPW6i3pM