I'm turning into a woman. And I'm not just saying that because I'm a teenager or because my body changes, I notice it in the smallest things. For example, my sister had a friend over, and when she was being picked up, her brother walked around with some candy. My sister's friend demanded he'd share, and when I was younger I would just yell at that girl and tell her not to command her brother. Now I'm just like 'oh, she'll learn' and tell the boy to keep everything to himself, which, honestly, I think is pretty adult. Especially because I used to be the childish person alive.
My god that's all bragging, but what I really mean is that I grew more patient, and I just claim it's me growing up, because I love to be seen as more of an adult than a kid.
School is actually fun. I can't wait for the first test because I just want to show myself I can get high grades and still have fun. See, the thing is, I know I can get those grades. I am smart, and I know that, but I never do a thing. The last three years I barely passed and I kept getting insufficients.
Well meet the new me. I plan on getting no insufficients at all this year, preferably nothing under a 6 (on a scale of 1 to 10). I'm hoping next year I can pass my exams cum laude, that's like my ultimate goal. (I believe it's called Latin honors in English.) That basicly means all I'm allowed to get are 8's or higher. Of course I could try going for summa cum laude, which is only 9's or higher, but then I'd really have no social live left. It would be really awesome though.
And for the first time I know I can make it. Of course I've know I'm smart ever since I skipped a year in school, but I never really believed that it could be fun as well.
You know, getting high grades is like getting presents, only that happy feeling lasts longer.
woensdag 29 augustus 2012
maandag 27 augustus 2012
Day 308 - Part 1 - Back to school.
School's started.
Ugh.
It's not like I don't look forward to it, I do, I really do, but on the other side, it's school. Homework, long days, being bored and tired, shoved away in the halls and late for class. Yep, great.
On the bright side, there's friends, having something to do, looking forward to weekends, art academy and, well, learning.
I'm not really a nerd in the "school-is-so-great" or the "lets-dress-like-a-fool" kind of way, but believe me, I'm a nerd in every other way.
Except I don't make homework and I'm always late.
What I mean is, I love learning. I love being able to look at some problem and thinking "hey, I can solve this, I've learned how that works!" I love being the smart kid, though I don't always show that.
I also had a summer-time spring clean-up. You can actually see the floor of my room, which is totally great.
And I have a piano in my room. A digital one, but still, I get to play whenever I want, even when people are sleeping. And write songs.
I finished my first one, I just have one or two chords I'm not sure of, but I have no idea how I can fix that. I'm working on my second song now, and it's GREAT. Really amazing to hear my words come to live. Two more songs are in the make, but they're still in my head, not written out.
Anyway, I've got a great year ahead of me. Just hoping I'll stay positive, that everything will be fine.
Ugh.
It's not like I don't look forward to it, I do, I really do, but on the other side, it's school. Homework, long days, being bored and tired, shoved away in the halls and late for class. Yep, great.
On the bright side, there's friends, having something to do, looking forward to weekends, art academy and, well, learning.
I'm not really a nerd in the "school-is-so-great" or the "lets-dress-like-a-fool" kind of way, but believe me, I'm a nerd in every other way.
Except I don't make homework and I'm always late.
What I mean is, I love learning. I love being able to look at some problem and thinking "hey, I can solve this, I've learned how that works!" I love being the smart kid, though I don't always show that.
I also had a summer-time spring clean-up. You can actually see the floor of my room, which is totally great.
And I have a piano in my room. A digital one, but still, I get to play whenever I want, even when people are sleeping. And write songs.
I finished my first one, I just have one or two chords I'm not sure of, but I have no idea how I can fix that. I'm working on my second song now, and it's GREAT. Really amazing to hear my words come to live. Two more songs are in the make, but they're still in my head, not written out.
Anyway, I've got a great year ahead of me. Just hoping I'll stay positive, that everything will be fine.
woensdag 22 augustus 2012
Day 304 - Part 1 - At least it's colourful.
So I got my schedule today, and it absolutely SUCKS. But that's okay, I coloured it nice enough to make me look forward to more than a week of school.
I'm ready. Not only in the sense of having my books (21, and that's just coursebooks, oh hell D:), also mentally. I'm finally ready to be me. Which hasn't been the case for as long as I remember.
Tomorrow is Anita's party, in the weekends I might get a job as video journalist for this festival, and school seems like a good idea to me now. I'm going to start art academy in just over a week, and I'm ready for everything.
Yep, things are looking great right now. :D
zondag 19 augustus 2012
Day 301 - Part 2 - Tearjerker
I've watched Degrassi with Anita all day yesterday and today I'm watching the rest of the season, and I know it's all extremly magnified but I'm crying anyways. I'm terrible at keeping it dry.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3y4V3AOzbyo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3y4V3AOzbyo
Day 301 - Part 1 - Campfires on a beach made of stones.
So it's burning hot outside and inside isn't much better. I'm dressed in the shortest clothes I could find and still I'm steaming away. I have cute curls though. I never knew my hair could be this curly.
Anyways, my glass is filled with icecubes and it's freezing my teeth off so that's fantastic. ^^
Holidays. I know I've taken ages and left you guys waiting for ages, but I honestly either didn't have a laptop/computer or couldn't be bothered. I'm terrible, I know.
So I went to France for 3 weeks, driving with the caravan, and it was AMAZING. Let me tell you all about it.
After driving the whole day, I got sick. As in puking sick. I can't even remember puking before that. I must have been like six, and even that I'm not sure about. I'm not the puking type.
Anyways, I probably had some sort of flu like my sister had the week before. It kept me up all night and the day after that, making me puke while there was nothing left in my stomach. (That's it for the gross part, sorry guys.)
The next day two girls came over to ask if we had a spare tent. I hadn't really slept in mine yet (I sleep outside the caravan in a little tent) but I was planning on sleeping there that night and we didn't have another one with us. So I said no and the girls went away and then I thought I could just as well let them have the tent for the night. They came by again and took the tent and all happy and stuff. It helped a lot that my parents wouldn't be pushing me to find friends all summer long.
The next day one of the girls came by with her boyfriend and a group of other kids and an icecream for me, and that's basically how I got invited to a campfire and got to know the kids on the campsite. Never knew I was that social. ;)
We had campfires almost every night. The campsite kinda included a beach, and it was all pretty small but reallt great. The spot I was on was about 2 metres away from the beach, so we could just grab a surfboard and jump into the water.
Thursdays there was this cute market in a nearby town, which was really an amazing thing and the market kind of flowed from the main square into town where it covered the next two blocks. I got all this amazing stuff, all kinds of shirts and two pairs of jeans and candy and very cute earrings and more of that stuff.
Also, there was this supermarket with an art supplies store. AN ART SUPPLIES STORE. I could've gotten lost in there if my parents wouldn't have dragged me out time and again. I got an awesome charcoal set, brush pens, beautiful pencils and some tiny erasers. I loved that.
Most of my days were just a blur of windsurfing, talking to people, laughing a lot, going to campfires and sleeping in. In the end, I slept in the caravan for most of the time. My tent was cold and lonely, I didn't really like it.
There's just some days that really jump out. When I teached some boys to surf, for instance. One of them took about half an hour before he could stand up with the sail in his hand and not fall down. The other one surfed away by himself within 15 minutes. It was awesome, because I felt like achieving something other than surfing up and down the beach all by myself.
Also there was the day I got a stone on my head. I actually regret not taking a picture afterwards, I looked like I walked straight out of a horror movie, with streams of dried blood on my face and a bandage on my head.
We were sitting around a campfire and throwing stoned into the fire and someone threw one on my head by accident. I'm glad I had my hoodie on, because who knows how bad it would've been if I didn't. :/
Anyways, I started bleeding like crazy, because that's what happens when there's a headwound. It wasn't really scary, just that I was afraid what would happen if I couldn't stop bleeding. Then one of the girls put her sweatshirt on my head and I felt so guilty because I was getting it full of bloodstains but she was really sweet and insisted on me keeping it on my head. Two guys ran off to find someone with a first-aid kit and withing 10 minutes I was all patched up and dry. Except that there was blood all over me.
So we walked to the bathroom stall with all 8 orso people. That actually was the scariest part of all, because my hand - which was slung around someone's shoulder because I couldn't really stand or walk by myself - was sleeping by the time we were halfway there. It was a 2 minutes walk. By that time I mentally freaked out. I already freaked out physically by crying and screaming at everyone to get help, but by that time I was so scared by the loss of blood I didn't really care about anything else anymore. I couldn't stand up for more than 3 minutes, by myself or with help. I was scared of being so weak really. I must've lost at least 2 litres of blood, maybe more.
I was made to repeat my full name and my birth date and the date of that day over and over again to make sure my brains were all okay. After we washed most of the blood from my face I went to the caravan and to bed, waking up every 2 hours on advice if the girls because if I would've had braindamage I could die.
It was one of those moments where I realized how easy it is to die, and how close I was to dying. Afterwards, it was absolutely terrifying, but at the time it didn't seem all that bad.
All in all, the summer was exactly everything I wanted. I was fixed on getting a boyfriend before going but the moment I arrived I realized it wasn't all that important to have a summer romance, just that I had fun. And I did. I had so much fun, I think I can last another year. ;)
And I got a penfriend out of it. Which is just as great as a summer boyfriend. Or better, because I get to keep her as my friend.
Anyways, my glass is filled with icecubes and it's freezing my teeth off so that's fantastic. ^^
Holidays. I know I've taken ages and left you guys waiting for ages, but I honestly either didn't have a laptop/computer or couldn't be bothered. I'm terrible, I know.
So I went to France for 3 weeks, driving with the caravan, and it was AMAZING. Let me tell you all about it.
After driving the whole day, I got sick. As in puking sick. I can't even remember puking before that. I must have been like six, and even that I'm not sure about. I'm not the puking type.
Anyways, I probably had some sort of flu like my sister had the week before. It kept me up all night and the day after that, making me puke while there was nothing left in my stomach. (That's it for the gross part, sorry guys.)
The next day two girls came over to ask if we had a spare tent. I hadn't really slept in mine yet (I sleep outside the caravan in a little tent) but I was planning on sleeping there that night and we didn't have another one with us. So I said no and the girls went away and then I thought I could just as well let them have the tent for the night. They came by again and took the tent and all happy and stuff. It helped a lot that my parents wouldn't be pushing me to find friends all summer long.
The next day one of the girls came by with her boyfriend and a group of other kids and an icecream for me, and that's basically how I got invited to a campfire and got to know the kids on the campsite. Never knew I was that social. ;)
We had campfires almost every night. The campsite kinda included a beach, and it was all pretty small but reallt great. The spot I was on was about 2 metres away from the beach, so we could just grab a surfboard and jump into the water.
Thursdays there was this cute market in a nearby town, which was really an amazing thing and the market kind of flowed from the main square into town where it covered the next two blocks. I got all this amazing stuff, all kinds of shirts and two pairs of jeans and candy and very cute earrings and more of that stuff.
Also, there was this supermarket with an art supplies store. AN ART SUPPLIES STORE. I could've gotten lost in there if my parents wouldn't have dragged me out time and again. I got an awesome charcoal set, brush pens, beautiful pencils and some tiny erasers. I loved that.
Most of my days were just a blur of windsurfing, talking to people, laughing a lot, going to campfires and sleeping in. In the end, I slept in the caravan for most of the time. My tent was cold and lonely, I didn't really like it.
There's just some days that really jump out. When I teached some boys to surf, for instance. One of them took about half an hour before he could stand up with the sail in his hand and not fall down. The other one surfed away by himself within 15 minutes. It was awesome, because I felt like achieving something other than surfing up and down the beach all by myself.
Also there was the day I got a stone on my head. I actually regret not taking a picture afterwards, I looked like I walked straight out of a horror movie, with streams of dried blood on my face and a bandage on my head.
We were sitting around a campfire and throwing stoned into the fire and someone threw one on my head by accident. I'm glad I had my hoodie on, because who knows how bad it would've been if I didn't. :/
Anyways, I started bleeding like crazy, because that's what happens when there's a headwound. It wasn't really scary, just that I was afraid what would happen if I couldn't stop bleeding. Then one of the girls put her sweatshirt on my head and I felt so guilty because I was getting it full of bloodstains but she was really sweet and insisted on me keeping it on my head. Two guys ran off to find someone with a first-aid kit and withing 10 minutes I was all patched up and dry. Except that there was blood all over me.
So we walked to the bathroom stall with all 8 orso people. That actually was the scariest part of all, because my hand - which was slung around someone's shoulder because I couldn't really stand or walk by myself - was sleeping by the time we were halfway there. It was a 2 minutes walk. By that time I mentally freaked out. I already freaked out physically by crying and screaming at everyone to get help, but by that time I was so scared by the loss of blood I didn't really care about anything else anymore. I couldn't stand up for more than 3 minutes, by myself or with help. I was scared of being so weak really. I must've lost at least 2 litres of blood, maybe more.
I was made to repeat my full name and my birth date and the date of that day over and over again to make sure my brains were all okay. After we washed most of the blood from my face I went to the caravan and to bed, waking up every 2 hours on advice if the girls because if I would've had braindamage I could die.
It was one of those moments where I realized how easy it is to die, and how close I was to dying. Afterwards, it was absolutely terrifying, but at the time it didn't seem all that bad.
All in all, the summer was exactly everything I wanted. I was fixed on getting a boyfriend before going but the moment I arrived I realized it wasn't all that important to have a summer romance, just that I had fun. And I did. I had so much fun, I think I can last another year. ;)
And I got a penfriend out of it. Which is just as great as a summer boyfriend. Or better, because I get to keep her as my friend.
donderdag 16 augustus 2012
Day 298 - Part 2 - Blueberry (2)
So this is my new hair. :3
Oh, and that little red line on my hair, that's my scar. Or soon-to-be-scar.
Day 298 -Part 1 - Blueberry ftw.
So I just dyed my hair purple, waiting for it to dry out so I can really see the result (and yes that contains me taking a picture and showing it to you guys) but until then, all I've got for you are purple hands. ^^
woensdag 15 augustus 2012
Day 297 - Part 1 - Pineapple
I'm kinda guessing only Emi will get this title but that's fine. It's really dusty in my room.
Anyways, as much as I want to blabber about France, I'm gonna keep this post sort of short because I'd like to update my blog like today and not in three hours.
My eye is being creepy. I woke up yesterday and it was really irritated (after I dreamt about having an infection and going halfway blind, how freaky is that? probably have been scratching my eye all night) but now it's sagging and tearing and producing that yellow stuff you get when you're really tired. It's scaring the hell out of me because I know how much things can hurt once infected and inflamed.
On the bright side, my mom brought me a card which allows me to travel for free in the weekends so I can easily get to art academy (and a lot of cross-country friends), I'm allowed to paint my hair purple (which I will do somewhere coming week because I still have some hairdye lying around) and my collection is looking great (on paper, that is).
vrijdag 10 augustus 2012
Day 292 - Part 1 - Fucking computerlessness.
So my mom took her computer and my dad took his and I'm stuck here with just my phone, which hates me when I type big parts of text. -.-'
So you will have to do with a small post, I'm sorry.
I went to town with Emi today, it was so great. I brought an All Time Low CD, a My Chemical Romance CD and (together with Emi) a Taylor Swift CD/DVD. I'm thrilled.
Then I dragged her into this clothes store because she wanted a skirt and we spent almost two hours in there while I made her try out half of the clothes in the store. We ended up with her buying 2 shirts and an adorable skirt and me buying an awesome shirt. Costs a lot, but we had great fun. Right, darling? ;)
donderdag 9 augustus 2012
Day 290 - Part 1 - Alice's place
Hey guys. ^^
I realize I haven't updated in a while (sorry D:) and now I'm back but I'm at Alice's house so no computer and typing a long post is crap on my phone. I WILL update a huge holidaypost soon, promise.
Right now Ali's taking a shower, it's 12.45pm and we just had breakfast. We're both kinda dead because I slept here last night and the night before we slept at my place. Well, we didn't really sleep. We stayed up till 5 in the morning and then I was too lazy to get a matress out so we slept in my bed with 2 pillows and 2 blankets and it was very cozy but I almost got pushed out of the bed all the time and Ali didn't really sleep any better.
We had a lot of fun though. And my wall is covered in freshly written texts Ali wrote.
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