I'm totally lacking motivation for anything today. I've got to write my English essay, I really want to call Lin but I have no idea what to tell her, because I think she won't believe I really do care, I can't keep up any conversation and I'm even too lazy to get some food, which is terrible.
So I spend the day in roli and watching TV with my mom, sometimes writing a few extra lines on my essay but never really getting anythere. It really sucks.
Song of the day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bK463fcJebI&ob=av2n
Oh, and I just realized, why do bottles of olive oil say "Extra Virgin"? Like, did they put in 2 virgins instead of one? I thought it was suitable for veggies.
So confuzzled rn.
donderdag 17 mei 2012
dinsdag 15 mei 2012
Day 203 - Part 1 - Drama 101
I hate being overemotional. I've had a shortage of sleep like, forever, but I'm actually starting to notice it now. I'm being a total bitch to my sister (I'm sorry little sis D:), I get angry over the tinyest of things, my spelling's totally floppy (as you may have noticed), and I suddenly cry.
And not just cry, CRY. I mean the long, weeping, out-of-breath, terrible noises cry. It's so annoying -.-'
And once I've started, everything starts to shake (including me) and I just CAN'T stop. I hate that.
So I baked 2 cakes today, totally awesome, and I already knew I was short on time and low on ingredients. So what do I do? After 2 hours of decorating, I drop one. Ful outburst of tears, cake all over the floor, me in rocking tears, and then my brother (who can be totally sweet and awesome) came down and heard me rant and then went downstairs to clean up the kitchen for me. It all turned out pretty fine though, and both girls loved their cakes.
The good part is, I made another 2 goals. That's 3 in 4 days, I'm really proud of me :D
I'm a walking wreckage, YAY! :D (And no, that's not sarcasm, I'm so darn tired that being a walking wreckage sounds like the better option.)
And not just cry, CRY. I mean the long, weeping, out-of-breath, terrible noises cry. It's so annoying -.-'
And once I've started, everything starts to shake (including me) and I just CAN'T stop. I hate that.
So I baked 2 cakes today, totally awesome, and I already knew I was short on time and low on ingredients. So what do I do? After 2 hours of decorating, I drop one. Ful outburst of tears, cake all over the floor, me in rocking tears, and then my brother (who can be totally sweet and awesome) came down and heard me rant and then went downstairs to clean up the kitchen for me. It all turned out pretty fine though, and both girls loved their cakes.
The good part is, I made another 2 goals. That's 3 in 4 days, I'm really proud of me :D
I'm a walking wreckage, YAY! :D (And no, that's not sarcasm, I'm so darn tired that being a walking wreckage sounds like the better option.)
maandag 14 mei 2012
Day 202 - Part 2 - Raeeeeee
She has a blog now. You guys should totally check it out, she's so sweet and it's really cute and fun to read and afjkghajksdg just follow it ^^
http://www.theraerayy.blogspot.co.uk/
http://www.theraerayy.blogspot.co.uk/
Day 202 - Part 1 - Jeans and pancakes.
Okay WHY did I put pancakes in there? That doesn't even have anything to do with anything. What's wrong with me? xD
Anyways, I got to sleep in this morning <3
First 2 hours off, that just makes my day. Then just plain old boring school ._.
And, I fixed 3 pairs of jeans today. *pats on shoulder* Fixing jeans is seriousely one of the most boring things you can do with a sewingmachine. It's just turning yourself onto autopilot and let your hands do the work, not thinking, nothing difficult. And I like challenges, so it's just boring to me. But I've been putting it off all this time, those jeans have been lying around forever, so I figured it would be time to finally go fix them.
And I didn't even start on my list yet D:
Before I started, I was like, I want to do this thing and that thing and that thing but I CAN'T because it's not day 200 yet. And now it's past day 200, and I'm like "ah, I'll do that later on". I'm such a strange person.
Anyways, I got to sleep in this morning <3
First 2 hours off, that just makes my day. Then just plain old boring school ._.
And, I fixed 3 pairs of jeans today. *pats on shoulder* Fixing jeans is seriousely one of the most boring things you can do with a sewingmachine. It's just turning yourself onto autopilot and let your hands do the work, not thinking, nothing difficult. And I like challenges, so it's just boring to me. But I've been putting it off all this time, those jeans have been lying around forever, so I figured it would be time to finally go fix them.
And I didn't even start on my list yet D:
Before I started, I was like, I want to do this thing and that thing and that thing but I CAN'T because it's not day 200 yet. And now it's past day 200, and I'm like "ah, I'll do that later on". I'm such a strange person.
zaterdag 12 mei 2012
Day 200 - Part 1 - The countdown.
21 tasks in 100 days - 100 days to live my life
So I was thinking, 200 days of blogging. And in those 200 days, there's so much I have done, and at the same time so much I haven't. And that's when an idea popped into my mind.
Because, what if I never do the things I really want to do? That would suck. So I made a list. A list of tasks I want to have done in 100 days. I ended up with 21 of them, writtin out in a really nice notebook, with space for remarks, crossing out days, thank-you's and things I came across in the 100 days.
And I decided to start at day 200. Not only because it's another big achievement for me, but also because I couldn't wait another 65 days to have the list finished by a year of blogging.
Today, I will change my life and do the things I always wanted to.
For the journey is the destination.
So I was thinking, 200 days of blogging. And in those 200 days, there's so much I have done, and at the same time so much I haven't. And that's when an idea popped into my mind.
Because, what if I never do the things I really want to do? That would suck. So I made a list. A list of tasks I want to have done in 100 days. I ended up with 21 of them, writtin out in a really nice notebook, with space for remarks, crossing out days, thank-you's and things I came across in the 100 days.
And I decided to start at day 200. Not only because it's another big achievement for me, but also because I couldn't wait another 65 days to have the list finished by a year of blogging.
Today, I will change my life and do the things I always wanted to.
For the journey is the destination.
vrijdag 11 mei 2012
Day 199 - Part 1 - Starting the countdown.
Wow. 199 days of blogging. That's a LOT. It feels really odd, especially knowing I'm going to open a new chapter to my life tomorrow. But that I'll tell you later ;)
So today was just plain old boring school. I wrote down the list in this super cure notebook and I skipped eating the orange because I didn't feel like getting my hands all wet and sticky. And then I firgured out I can put the cable of my computerboxes into my iPod and have loved the idea ever since.
Anyways, I'm just spamming Roli and stalking twitter and poking people and being tired and trying to install skype on my phone again, which of course doesn't work.
So today was just plain old boring school. I wrote down the list in this super cure notebook and I skipped eating the orange because I didn't feel like getting my hands all wet and sticky. And then I firgured out I can put the cable of my computerboxes into my iPod and have loved the idea ever since.
Anyways, I'm just spamming Roli and stalking twitter and poking people and being tired and trying to install skype on my phone again, which of course doesn't work.
donderdag 10 mei 2012
Day 198 - Part 1 - Oranges and excitement.
Rae helped me find out why I have so many random nosebleeds (thank you Rae :D). Turns out, I've got a huge shortage of vitamins for not eating fruit. And when I say huge, I mean HUGE. The kind that I haven't eaten fruit in over a month and don't take vitamin pills or anything. So I've been taking organges to school for the last 2 days, and I actually feel better already. Which is probably my mind playing tricks on me, but that doesn't really matter.
So I guess my list is finished now, it's kinda creepy to know I'll start on it in 2 days. Sounds like a movie or something. My life is a movie :D
And I went to the dentist. The maximum for my braces to stay in is until December.
FUCKING DECEMBER.
That's so long still :(
And they had to adjust all kinds of stuff, so my teeth hurt once again :/
Ugh, thus sucks. Can't wait for them to get out. At least I'll be able to just brush my teeth normally then.
And now back to homework. I'm being so nice to school lately. Which reminds me, I need to check on my marks again, see if I got any A's orso. ;P
So I guess my list is finished now, it's kinda creepy to know I'll start on it in 2 days. Sounds like a movie or something. My life is a movie :D
And I went to the dentist. The maximum for my braces to stay in is until December.
FUCKING DECEMBER.
That's so long still :(
And they had to adjust all kinds of stuff, so my teeth hurt once again :/
Ugh, thus sucks. Can't wait for them to get out. At least I'll be able to just brush my teeth normally then.
And now back to homework. I'm being so nice to school lately. Which reminds me, I need to check on my marks again, see if I got any A's orso. ;P
woensdag 9 mei 2012
Day 197 - Part 2 - Piano.
I decided to go play some piano again, and I looked through my sheets and found "My Immortal" (which I can play a part of now), "Almost Lover" (which sounds absolutely AMAZING and suits my voice) and "Dance of the Dragonfly" (Bob sent me the link, and I found sheet music. It's the kind of music where I look at the right hand, which has most of the melody, think "Oh, that's a good challenge", see the left hand and go crazy because it's REALLY difficult, even for someone who has had classes for 10 years. I tried it anyways, and can play like 1 line, but it sounds really awesome).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5anLPw0Efmo&ob=av2e
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsWsasqIoyk&ob=av2e
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kKg_GCbvk4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5anLPw0Efmo&ob=av2e
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsWsasqIoyk&ob=av2e
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kKg_GCbvk4
Day 197 - Part 1 - I hate waiting.
So I can't start on my list yet because the days haven't started, and there's actually some things I really want to start on :/
But, I can rant all I wants about the letter I sent Dennis, since that has arrived. So I was in a very ADHD-y mood, it was past midnight, holidays, and I almost had to go back to school. So what is it I do? Exactly. Write my boyfriend a letter.
With tiny drawings spreading all over the paper, random remarks, a piece of extra paper taped to it because I was out of paper, weird notes, hyper writing and making no sense at all.
And I made pictures of a lot of drawings :D
I won't bore you with those all, so I'll just post this one ;)
http://i50.tinypic.com/2a91g28.jpg
Oh, and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FE1nfva5gvg
But, I can rant all I wants about the letter I sent Dennis, since that has arrived. So I was in a very ADHD-y mood, it was past midnight, holidays, and I almost had to go back to school. So what is it I do? Exactly. Write my boyfriend a letter.
With tiny drawings spreading all over the paper, random remarks, a piece of extra paper taped to it because I was out of paper, weird notes, hyper writing and making no sense at all.
And I made pictures of a lot of drawings :D
I won't bore you with those all, so I'll just post this one ;)
http://i50.tinypic.com/2a91g28.jpg
Oh, and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FE1nfva5gvg
dinsdag 8 mei 2012
Day 196 - Part 1 - This is art.
Baking is AWESOME, you guys :D
So I had to do some school project about text and art, and I baked a cake, and wrote "This is art" on there, the concept being it's not art unless you intend it to be.
So I had to wake up at 6.30 in the morning so dad could drive me to school to get the cake there in one piece (cycling with it was no option, walking would take an hour or more), and my teacher was pretty enthousiastic about it.
Then I cut it up and gave all my classmates a piece and we ate it :D
And now I'm writing out my list, after playing some piano and not doing homework ;)
I'll tell you guys about the list later :D
Oh, and I found myself another song to play and sing. This one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsWsasqIoyk&ob=av2e
And I got off school early. That was cool :)
Oh, and this song, it's absolutely WONDERFUL.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbN0nX61rIs&ob=av2e
So I had to do some school project about text and art, and I baked a cake, and wrote "This is art" on there, the concept being it's not art unless you intend it to be.
So I had to wake up at 6.30 in the morning so dad could drive me to school to get the cake there in one piece (cycling with it was no option, walking would take an hour or more), and my teacher was pretty enthousiastic about it.
Then I cut it up and gave all my classmates a piece and we ate it :D
And now I'm writing out my list, after playing some piano and not doing homework ;)
I'll tell you guys about the list later :D
Oh, and I found myself another song to play and sing. This one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsWsasqIoyk&ob=av2e
And I got off school early. That was cool :)
Oh, and this song, it's absolutely WONDERFUL.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbN0nX61rIs&ob=av2e
zondag 6 mei 2012
Day 194 - Part 1 - Kitchen.
I just spend 2 days in the kitchen, baking cakes and muffins and all kinds of stuff.
Because, yk, tomorrow's my sister's birthday, so she celebrated it today, and we had this kind of high-tea thing going around, with chocolate and cake and bread with sausage and potato chips and all that kind of stuff, and my mom and I had to make EVERYTHING, so we spend the last 2 days in the kitchen baking and cooking.
This morning only, I mean, 4 hours non-stop decorating... It was fun but really tiring. And the cake was gone within 10 minutes. But it was so worth it :D
And the birthday cake looked so cute :3
So, yeah, my days were pretty empty. It was mostly just baking. And my sis having a party. But, yk, socializing with grown-ups isn't all too exiting to talk about on here, because we always discuss the same problems: Their kids, me, my brother and all his problems, my siter, friend and family, the news. It kinda gets old talking about it afterwards after a couple of years.
And my mind's really slow today. It's all filled up with sugar and butter and all kinds of ingredients and decorating things... I can notice I haven't been doing anything but baking the last few days.
And I think I washed my hands about a million times. They're still sticky.
Because, yk, tomorrow's my sister's birthday, so she celebrated it today, and we had this kind of high-tea thing going around, with chocolate and cake and bread with sausage and potato chips and all that kind of stuff, and my mom and I had to make EVERYTHING, so we spend the last 2 days in the kitchen baking and cooking.
This morning only, I mean, 4 hours non-stop decorating... It was fun but really tiring. And the cake was gone within 10 minutes. But it was so worth it :D
And the birthday cake looked so cute :3
So, yeah, my days were pretty empty. It was mostly just baking. And my sis having a party. But, yk, socializing with grown-ups isn't all too exiting to talk about on here, because we always discuss the same problems: Their kids, me, my brother and all his problems, my siter, friend and family, the news. It kinda gets old talking about it afterwards after a couple of years.
And my mind's really slow today. It's all filled up with sugar and butter and all kinds of ingredients and decorating things... I can notice I haven't been doing anything but baking the last few days.
And I think I washed my hands about a million times. They're still sticky.
vrijdag 4 mei 2012
Day 192 - Part 2 - Paperweight.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYiG5tpCOF4
Listen to that while reading. And if you're out of music before you're out of text, play the song again. And again. And again, if you need to.
So today was one hell of an emotional rollercoaster. Waking up was hell, then waking Lin was fun and we had a great time and then going back home in the train I was just really sad. After that, I was pretending to be happy with my parents, and we went off to remember the dead. It's an annual thing here in the Netherlands, we remember those who died so we can live in freedom now. So that was just pressing on me a little, because that started after WW2 and being Jewish, I really try to figure out all I can about WW2, to know how my parents and their parents became who they are now. And to discover a part of myself, too.
Then I went home and watched the last part of "Dear John", which I started watching with Lin but we didn't have enough time to finish it because I had to catch my train. So I cried over the movie, because it's just so sad and I'm a total emotional dweep when it comes to movies like that, and I can still feel the tears on my face.
And then came the hard conversation with Dennis, which really was difficult for me, and I made him feel bad and I hate me for that, but I just had to let him know how I felt and stuff and luckily we're good now. We should pick a date for me to come over or something.
Now that I'm sitting here typing everything out, I can feel the tears forming in my eyes and I know they'll start rolling down my cheeks any moment, but that's a good thing. Because as long as I dare to cry, everything will be fine.
Listen to that while reading. And if you're out of music before you're out of text, play the song again. And again. And again, if you need to.
So today was one hell of an emotional rollercoaster. Waking up was hell, then waking Lin was fun and we had a great time and then going back home in the train I was just really sad. After that, I was pretending to be happy with my parents, and we went off to remember the dead. It's an annual thing here in the Netherlands, we remember those who died so we can live in freedom now. So that was just pressing on me a little, because that started after WW2 and being Jewish, I really try to figure out all I can about WW2, to know how my parents and their parents became who they are now. And to discover a part of myself, too.
Then I went home and watched the last part of "Dear John", which I started watching with Lin but we didn't have enough time to finish it because I had to catch my train. So I cried over the movie, because it's just so sad and I'm a total emotional dweep when it comes to movies like that, and I can still feel the tears on my face.
And then came the hard conversation with Dennis, which really was difficult for me, and I made him feel bad and I hate me for that, but I just had to let him know how I felt and stuff and luckily we're good now. We should pick a date for me to come over or something.
Now that I'm sitting here typing everything out, I can feel the tears forming in my eyes and I know they'll start rolling down my cheeks any moment, but that's a good thing. Because as long as I dare to cry, everything will be fine.
Day 192 - Part 1 - Nightmares and breakfast.
I woke up this morning feeling terrible. -.-'
But, Lin was in the bed next to my mattress, so I was happy pretty soon again.
idk, it is weird. My dreams used to be amazing because Dennis was in them, now they hurt so much because he's in them. Not because he does hurtful things in my dreams, far from, but because it hurts seeing us so happy in my dreams.
And then I also woke up at 10 AM, after staying up till 2 AM, which is really, REALLY odd for me, because I usually sleep till 11 AM when I go to bed at midnight :/
And it wasn't the room or anything. That's happening a lot lately.
What's also happening a lot is crying myself to sleep. Or being on the verge of crying. And waking up with the same feeling.
So, yeah, I'm feeling totally crap these days..
Luckily there's Lin, who's sitting next to me reading along and snorting but kinda smiling too because she's amazing :D
She is.
Now hug her.
Good. ^^
UGH, I hate this feeling. WHY can't some people just DECIDE?
And I'm having breakfast now :D
Which is all chocolaty and nice :D
I love chocolate, btw ^^
But, Lin was in the bed next to my mattress, so I was happy pretty soon again.
idk, it is weird. My dreams used to be amazing because Dennis was in them, now they hurt so much because he's in them. Not because he does hurtful things in my dreams, far from, but because it hurts seeing us so happy in my dreams.
And then I also woke up at 10 AM, after staying up till 2 AM, which is really, REALLY odd for me, because I usually sleep till 11 AM when I go to bed at midnight :/
And it wasn't the room or anything. That's happening a lot lately.
What's also happening a lot is crying myself to sleep. Or being on the verge of crying. And waking up with the same feeling.
So, yeah, I'm feeling totally crap these days..
Luckily there's Lin, who's sitting next to me reading along and snorting but kinda smiling too because she's amazing :D
She is.
Now hug her.
Good. ^^
UGH, I hate this feeling. WHY can't some people just DECIDE?
And I'm having breakfast now :D
Which is all chocolaty and nice :D
I love chocolate, btw ^^
donderdag 3 mei 2012
Day 191 - Part 2 - Just wondering.
So, did you talk to her yet? I really want to know how things are for us now. Mail me?
Day 191 - Part 1 - GAH.
Hi people :D
Hehe, so I'm at Lin's now and we're totally random and hyper and happy and such :3
AND. I was gonna show her something on youtube but I forgot what because I got distracted by myself (which happens a lot, really ^^), and now I forgot but I do remember it was supermeganice and I really wanted to show her and GAH.
And Lin's reading along and kinda laughing and such and saying "tsss" as she reads what I just wrote, and OMG I FORGOT TO CALL MY MOM D:
Anyways, hi. ^^
Hehe, so I'm at Lin's now and we're totally random and hyper and happy and such :3
AND. I was gonna show her something on youtube but I forgot what because I got distracted by myself (which happens a lot, really ^^), and now I forgot but I do remember it was supermeganice and I really wanted to show her and GAH.
And Lin's reading along and kinda laughing and such and saying "tsss" as she reads what I just wrote, and OMG I FORGOT TO CALL MY MOM D:
Anyways, hi. ^^
woensdag 2 mei 2012
Day 190 - Part 6 - Show me some love.
I mean, I don't care if you can't tell me you love me. As long and I know you do. And it might not even be enough, but I don't care. You love me, that's all that matters now.
ANDDDDD, I'm packing up my bags, going to Lin tomorrow :D
So I'll be back later guys :D
Miss me if you will ;)
ANDDDDD, I'm packing up my bags, going to Lin tomorrow :D
So I'll be back later guys :D
Miss me if you will ;)
Day 190 - Part 5 - Fan-tastic,
So does anyone have any ideas on how to stop a bleeding nose? I've got one again -.-'
Day 190 - Part 4 - So who's spamming me?
Because my viewstats go up like SO MUCH because I think someone's spamming my blog :D
Not that I really mind.
I love blogviews. :D
Not that I really mind.
I love blogviews. :D
Day 190 - Part 3 - Go follow
or I'll come for you and lie under your bed and creep you out at night and then you'll better listen to me before I fry you all with my firebreathing :D
Hehe :P
assayame.blogspot.com
That's Lin's blog ^^
Now go see it and follow :D
Hehe :P
assayame.blogspot.com
That's Lin's blog ^^
Now go see it and follow :D
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